I just had one of the best Christmases ever.
There was great food (hello overindulgence!!), quality time with family, lots of laughs, heaps of beach time, and relaxation. It was joyous!
Problem was, I couldn’t fully connect with all the fun and festivity.
I wasn’t feeling all of that joyous cheer inside me.
I was still having fun, but I just felt a little bit… removed.
Talk about frustrating.
I had the perfect circumstances to feel total holiday happiness – but it wasn’t happening.
Something was getting in the way of my joy.
I tried to figure out what was blocking me, but I just couldn’t pinpoint it.
So I accepted that was how it was for the moment, but didn’t worry about it or give myself a hard time as I knew that wouldn’t help. This was temporary, my joy would return.
I sent up for some help (I called on “the gang” as I call my team of angels and guides).
And a few days later along came a dear friend who asked me just the right questions to get to the bottom of what was going on.
It was one of the usual culprits, I just hadn’t figured out what had triggered it.
My joy was being foiled by fear.
If you ever wonder why you haven’t felt joy in awhile, or perhaps you feel a bit numb or just mildly disconnected, the first thing to ask yourself is what am I worried about? It can be easy to spot something on the surface, but sometimes you have to dig a little deeper.
I had to dig deeper.
You see, on the surface my business is going well (I was just featured in the latest Psychologies magazine – yay!) and I’ve got big plans for this year. So I’m super excited for what’s in store.
But most of those plans will require me to step out of my comfort zone, big time.
All that I will have to do and become scares the pants off me! (Will I be able to cope? What if it all doesn’t work? What if I fail? Will I look like a fool?) And breathe.
All these feelings are perfectly normal, but what I didn’t do was face them.
I didn’t look them in the eye and say, yes, I know you’re there, I understand why you’re there, and it’s OK that you’re there.
And because I didn’t my fears lay like a wet blanket over my joy until I paid them attention.
So when my dear friend and I had a conversation about how I was feeling, and I truly connected with the energy of the fear and acknowledged it, guess what happened?
My joy returned 🙂
We went on a walk afterwards and all the little things that I’d been oblivious too in the past few weeks were popping out at me.
A gorgeous spray of white and pink frangipanis, the smell of them on the evening air, the sense of adventure we had being on foot and exploring a new area.
I’d got back in touch with my wonder.
So, if you find yourself surrounded by perfect circumstances but you just can’t feel the joy, here’s a few ideas to help you clear whatever is in the way and get back to playing again.
- Try to figure out what’s blocking you. Ask yourself, What am I worried about? What events are coming up that make me nervous? Is there something I don’t want to do? Another technique is to think through the things that are happening in your life and pay attention to the feelings in your body – if you have a sick sensation, heaviness or drop in energy, it can be a good indicator of what’s troubling you.
- If you can’t figure it out, accept that you can’t and let it go for now. Remind yourself this is only temporary.
- Ask for help. I ask for help from upstairs (the gang) as well as from my friends and family. People often love the opportunity to help others, so reach out to someone you trust and are comfortable feeling vulnerable with and say I’ve got a dilemma I could use some help with.
- If you don’t have someone like that, then try writing in a journal and being totally honest with yourself about what’s going on.
- The key to clearing the energy is connecting with it. You can know it’s there with your mind, but that doesn’t help it shift – you need to feel it.
Have you had any situations where fear, anxiety or worry got in the way of your joy? How did you move through it? Love to hear your tactics in the comments below.
Here’s to feeling your holiday bliss!
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PPS. If you’d like to check out what I said in Psychologies magazine, look for the one with actress Emma Stone on the cover, it’s out now.