When I had chemo treatment for breast cancer, I lost all my hair.
All my life my hair has been various shades of dark blonde.
But when it grew back, it was just plain dark. Hello brunette!
For a long time friends and family would say ‘I just can’t get used to your hair – it’s so dark!’
It’s been over 3 years since my hair grew back and there are still moments when I look in the mirror and wonder who that woman is staring back at me – but I figured I’d gotten used to it!
However, my recent business photoshoot and 100+ photos of me proved otherwise.
I did not expect the reaction I had after I saw the new photos.
It was an outpouring of grief.
For what that woman had been through. What she had survived. What she had lost. And how she was different now. Both in looks and outlook.
There was a lot of judgement along with the grief, until a good friend suggested I look at that woman and thank her for surviving. Thank her for shining.
So I did. And really came to realise the fucking tough choices she made in order to still be here. Alive. She chose:
To have poison pumped into her body for six months to kill the cancer.
To have her boob removed in order to give herself the best chance of a long life.
To have a new boob made from her stomach tissue, which left her with some pretty major scars and a forever-altered form.
To be exposed to radiation waves that left a burn mark that’s still visible today.
Acknowledging all that to myself was deeply cathartic. And then I was able to shift into gratitude, appreciation and something a little akin to awe for the woman before me.
She is brave, strong, resilient and powerful.
And that last part was what I hadn’t been able to really see.
I am more powerful than I’ve ever been – and I can see it when I look at those photos.
It’s scary, humbling, and exciting.
I’ve been looking at my photos and asking the woman looking back at me:
- Where to now?
- What do you want to say?
- What do you want to offer?
- What kind of business do you want?
- How do you want to live life?
Slowly, slowly the answers are trickling through.
She wants to let go of the struggle and surrender to the ease of co-creating with the Universe.
She wants to launch less, and do more 1-2-1 work.
She wants to travel again (watch this space overseas friends!).
She wants life outside of work to be filled with more joy, fun and adventures 🙂
Who knew having some photos taken could deliver such an identity upgrade! (Well, many people know this but I was oblivious lols)
But we don’t have to wait for a photoshoot to look ourselves in the eye and ask, what’s next ?
So that’s my invitation for you today – to take a moment to ask yourself the same questions above that have been on my mind. Find a recent photo of yourself, look into your own eyes, ask them and see what comes through.
I’d love to know what does. If you want to tell me, hit reply and share your insights.
To our continual uplevelling.
Big hugs, Lynn x
Ps. Inline with my intuition, I’ve been creating a few new 1-2-1 offers! Check out my latest one on this post.