This was the question my spiritual mentor asked me a little while back and then she went on to give me options.
Do you want to be the beacon of joy? Where you walk into a room and light it up and everyone feels great just being around you?
Do you want to be the person who found joy?
Or do you want to be the person who is in the process of finding joy?
Hmmm…. I adopted my thinking pose and mulled it over.
Before you keep reading, take a guess which one you think I chose and why?
Then, for interest’s sake, which one would you choose for you?
Back to my mulling. Here’s what I thought…
Option 1 – way too much pressure! Who wants to be on all the time (and who can be??)
Option 2 – don’t feel like I can say I have 100% found joy, because I don’t feel joyful ALL the time (and I don’t believe you can. Life = shit happens. And… you’re HUMAN!)
Option 3 – now we’re talking! I can totally own this one. I am committed to finding, experiencing and allowing as much joy in my life as often as possible. #truth
It’s not a destination, it’s a journey (and a bit about mine)
Now, here’s why I wanted to share this with you today – to give you hope.
Hope that no matter how much or how little joy you’re experiencing in your life, more awaits you if you’re willing to be ‘in process’.
Because wherever you are on the joyful spectrum, I was right there with you at some point in my journey. They say you teach what you need to learn, and I honestly believe that’s true for me.
Although I now know my core self is indeed radiant and joyful – and it has been a complete delight to rediscover that part of myself – for much of my life it was buried underneath a lot of pain, confusion, heartache, anxiety, overthinking and fear.
Growing up, if you’d asked my friends to choose one word to describe me, they likely would have picked something like ‘serious’ or ‘intense’!
Joy, play, fun weren’t really on my radar as I was too busy trying to control my world and appear to be a ‘good girl’, a ‘good student’ a ‘good sportswoman’, a ‘good friend’ and so on, because in my mind that was how everything would turn out all right. And how I’d get to be happy.
I was retelling this story recently while being interviewed on a podcast and was inspired to share it again with you to let you know wherever you’re at you’re not alone and you CAN experience more joy in your life.
I went from feeling numb and anxious to these days feeling fully in my body and being able to experience incredible periods of joy I never thought possible! (And I use the word period intentionally as they do eventually end, until the next time, but that is part of being human!)
At the end of that podcast interview I said this:
I can promise you, that if you shift your attention to joy, and focus on bringing more into your everyday experience (even if in this moment you’re not sure how) you will slowly but surely shift your trajectory toward a life were you WILL experience more joy more of the time.
Small, incremental shifts is all it takes. And slowly, slowly, catchy monkey, you’ll become aware of more and more moments of joy that delight, surprise and fulfil.
I know this to be true because I did it, and you have access to everything that I did/used/learnt to make those shifts myself. Below are a few of the ideas I adopted and habits I cultivated to get me to where I am – take a look, pick one (or do them all!) and start creating or strengthening your own joy habit too.
- Set your intention to experience more joy. (Decide that you’re going to choose joy as often as you can.)
- Focus on what brings you joy. Do more of that.
- Recognise what keeps you out of joy. Shift that. (Where possible).
- Believe that you deserve more joy. (And give yourself permission to FEEL it often!)
- Remember that joy exists in the present moment, so savour what is right in front of you. (You can’t connect with it if you’re in your mind thinking about the future or the past.)
Love to hear in the comments below which one of the 5 you feel like you need to work on most. (No. 4 has so many layers, so that’s one I keep coming back to all the time!)
And if you’re feeling stuck and like you might need some support and a clear strategy to figure out how to bring more joy into your life – whether it be to your relationships, your work or within yourself – I’m offering 20% off the cost of my three-month coaching package until the May Day Holiday (May 28).
If you’re curious about what we could transform in your life from working together, let’s have a chat. Book in for a free no-obligation call here. (The call needs to be booked in by May 28 but can be taken after that date.)
Whether you go on to work with me or not, these calls will leave you with clarity on what a joyful life means to you, what’s getting in the way of it, and the next steps you can take to help that vision flourish! Book in here.
Until next time my friend.